Her.

I watch for her, I'm always watching for her...
I think about her all of the time...
when will I see her again?
a glimpse here or there is all i've really seen so far...
she is always hiding...
i think she's scared.
if only she could see herself, the way i see her...
i love the way she thinks of others before herself,
the subtle way she lets someone know they matter...
she jokes around with her daughter,
she makes her husband feel like the luckiest man in the world...
i see the way her mom confides in her, like she's her very best friend...
and the sparkle in her father's eye when she calls him daddy...
people feel like they can be themselves around her...
they feel loved and special and they laugh and they smile...
but me, well, it's different for me...
my selfishness, it's suffocating...
the way i get angry at every little thing...
my daughter, she runs away if she does something bad;
she knows i'm going to yell again...
my husband, the poor guy, he takes the brunt of my bad days...
my mom, she loves me, i know she does, but sometimes i wonder why...
i don't even know what to say to my father, it's always so awkward...
i wish i were more like Her...
i want to be like that...
the woman that God intended me to be ...
i want to be her.