I believe. Help me with my unbelief.

Sinking into the depths of unbelief
Gasping for the breath that will set me free
I’ve fallen into the evil trap
Of believing just enough
Believing in the believable
not truly trusting the unbelievable
yet what is God, if not unbelievable?
what power would He possess,
if the power could be understood
or controlled by
me?
What freedom am I granting Him
In my life
When I am shackled by doubt
Self-doubt and God-doubt and people-doubt…
Staring at the same hindrances
For years
Wondering what affliction I must have
That after prayer
And tears
And desire,
These hindrances are still here
Knowing that healing should have begun
Long ago
Like an ant working his whole life
To move a building…
Eventually he must give up
For the task is simply
Unbelievable.
Yet do I not have
A power
Than an ant cannot claim?
If my hindrance is a hindrance
In the sight of the Lord
Do I not have the power
I need to free myself from that curse?
I do have the power
To free myself…
All I have needed to do
All along
Is to believe.

Fruit of the Spirit

“But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control..."

When I think about
the kind of person I want to be
the words that enter my mind are ...
love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control

For so long,
I distanced myself
from you...
denying any similarities
in an attempt
to create my own identity
apart from you or anyone else.

Though when I think of the person that you are,
the words that enter my mind are
love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Thank you for being an example of Jesus in my life.
i love you, mom : )

The world.

The world is so large
and untouchable
until it becomes real.
Sometimes the world
lives inside of you
moving and growing and being.

It's as if God took the entire world
and placed it into the 2 inches
growing inside of me.
As if suddenly,
what had no meaning
suddenly meant everything.

Who am I to have such an honor
such a responsibility
again?
Was anyone watching
what I did
the first time?

Yet, in the moments of peace
the moments of just being,
I feel joy.
Joy and contentment and excitement,
fear and anxiety and concern
every emotion in the world, inside of my world.

The world is growing
inside of me.