She wakes, she stretches, reluctantly leaving the world of dreams.
She says good-bye to summer days full of naps and books...
No more is she lying on a sandy, white beach with endless sunsets...
No longer is she free of responsibility and duty.
Hesitating for a moment, but knowing reality is inevitable and fast-approaching, she touches her feet to the ground.
Her day has begun.
Children are dressed and transported.
Deadlines are met and meetings are held.
Dinner is made and bedtime stories are read.
Dishes are washed and towels are folded.
She collapses into her bed and realizes another day is done.
Accomplishing every item on her to-do list, she wonders why the day felt so empty.
Her mind begins to slow and her body begins to relax, as she nears sleep once again.
As she begins to fall asleep, she hears a faint whisper..."I'm still here..."
And then she remembers Him.
She tries to refresh her mind and stir her body. She just needs to stay awake for a few more minutes...
But her day has been too hectic, her life too busy, she cannot fight sleep and once again, she falls asleep without spending a moment with her Father.
She sleeps.
She wakes, she stretches, reluctantly leaving the world of dreams...
Friday, May 18, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
An excerpt from Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost for His Highest":
We think it is a sign of true humility to say at the end of the day, "Well, I just barely got by today, but it was a severe struggle." And yet all of Almighty God is ours in the Lord Jesus! And He will reach to the last grain of sand and the remotest star to bless us if we will only obey Him. Does it really matter that our circumstances are difficult? Why shouldn't they be! If we give way to self-pity and indulge in the luxury of misery, we remove God’s riches from our lives and hinder others from entering into His provision. No sin is worse than the sin of self-pity, because it removes God from the throne of our lives, replacing Him with our own self-interests. It causes us to open our mouths only to complain, and we simply become spiritual sponges— always absorbing, never giving, and never being satisfied. And there is nothing lovely or generous about our lives.
I am getting married in 9 days. I am also working full-time, going to school full-time and being a mom full-time. I lead a growth group. My car was hit while I was sleeping 2 weeks ago and I have been working with the insurance companies ever since. Blah blah blah. The point is, I am busy. I have been stressed. Yesterday, I hit a wall. I was at a breaking point. I found out that my car was being totaled for $2000 less than I owed on the car. It was at that moment that I finally said, "GOD, I CAN'T do this anymore. I need help." Now, I think that I am pretty good about asking God for help. I am not one of those people who think that I can handle things on my own. I completely understand and acknowledge my need for God. Yet, when it came down to it, I had to reach a breaking point before I REALLY asked God for help. A few minutes later, I received a phone call from my uncle, the car salesman. He had worked out a plan so that the insurance company would give me more money for my car and he was able to get me into a brand new car, for a few more dollars than I was paying for my old car.
I think what happens is we (at least, I) underestimate God. I underestimate his ability to help me, but more than anything, I underestimate his love for me. I think I hesitated to ask God for help because I didn't want to bother Him. I didn't actually think that in my head, but somewhere down deep, I think that was my reasoning. But God is Everywhere, He is involved in Everything. Every teeny little thing that comes up in our lives, He cares; it actually matters to Him. And when that concept becomes a reality, there is nothing that we cannot handle, with our God right there by our side. He's like the mafia guy who knows everybody and can get you into the best restaurants and can take care of your "problems", because he has that power and that authority. God is like our own personal mafia guy, but He's good and doesn't whack people. It's not even 9 AM yet so I can't actually be held responsible for this post. My point is, though, we may be weak, yet He is strong. And that is good to know.
: )
We think it is a sign of true humility to say at the end of the day, "Well, I just barely got by today, but it was a severe struggle." And yet all of Almighty God is ours in the Lord Jesus! And He will reach to the last grain of sand and the remotest star to bless us if we will only obey Him. Does it really matter that our circumstances are difficult? Why shouldn't they be! If we give way to self-pity and indulge in the luxury of misery, we remove God’s riches from our lives and hinder others from entering into His provision. No sin is worse than the sin of self-pity, because it removes God from the throne of our lives, replacing Him with our own self-interests. It causes us to open our mouths only to complain, and we simply become spiritual sponges— always absorbing, never giving, and never being satisfied. And there is nothing lovely or generous about our lives.
I am getting married in 9 days. I am also working full-time, going to school full-time and being a mom full-time. I lead a growth group. My car was hit while I was sleeping 2 weeks ago and I have been working with the insurance companies ever since. Blah blah blah. The point is, I am busy. I have been stressed. Yesterday, I hit a wall. I was at a breaking point. I found out that my car was being totaled for $2000 less than I owed on the car. It was at that moment that I finally said, "GOD, I CAN'T do this anymore. I need help." Now, I think that I am pretty good about asking God for help. I am not one of those people who think that I can handle things on my own. I completely understand and acknowledge my need for God. Yet, when it came down to it, I had to reach a breaking point before I REALLY asked God for help. A few minutes later, I received a phone call from my uncle, the car salesman. He had worked out a plan so that the insurance company would give me more money for my car and he was able to get me into a brand new car, for a few more dollars than I was paying for my old car.
I think what happens is we (at least, I) underestimate God. I underestimate his ability to help me, but more than anything, I underestimate his love for me. I think I hesitated to ask God for help because I didn't want to bother Him. I didn't actually think that in my head, but somewhere down deep, I think that was my reasoning. But God is Everywhere, He is involved in Everything. Every teeny little thing that comes up in our lives, He cares; it actually matters to Him. And when that concept becomes a reality, there is nothing that we cannot handle, with our God right there by our side. He's like the mafia guy who knows everybody and can get you into the best restaurants and can take care of your "problems", because he has that power and that authority. God is like our own personal mafia guy, but He's good and doesn't whack people. It's not even 9 AM yet so I can't actually be held responsible for this post. My point is, though, we may be weak, yet He is strong. And that is good to know.
: )
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Conversation with Jesus
This came out of my silence and solitude time tonight ...
I climb the stairs and leave the world behind. When I reach the top, there are two chairs, very comfortable lounge chairs. I am standing on a glass box. Everyone, everything, the entire world is in the box below. I can see them but cannot hear them. There is such a peaceful silence; it is so inviting. I walk over to my chair, which is positioned so that it is facing the other chair. Jesus is sitting, waiting for me, and I give him a hug, as friends do when they greet each other. He smiles, a warm, knowing smile. I can see the world below me and I sigh as I settle into my chair. "Oh Jesus, I'm tired. I'm so tired." I tell him about my day and he listens, offering a nod of his head or soft chuckle. After I have dumped all of my complaints and stresses from the day on him, I am quiet. And then he speaks wisdom to my heart. He fills my soul with peace and encouragement and fills me with strength to enter the world again. Before I go, I look up and I am amazed, once again, as I see the expanse of the sky and I realize how small I really am and I thank God for loving me, in spite of me, and for never leaving my side.
Tonight I debated in my head for a few minutes. Watch "Intervention" or spend time with God? Intervention is such a great show, it was a tough decision! It's hard to put things aside to spend time with God. It's hard to sit and not get anything "accomplished". It's hard to stay awake when you've worked and struggled and worried all day. Until you actually do it. Once you make that decision to make God important, you realize that you accomplished exactly what you should have accomplished, taking time with God really is better than a few more minutes of sleep and don't even get me started on how much BETTER it is to give our worries to God!!
The God of our universe is moving. He is moving all around us and it's up to us to pull ourselves away from the demands and temptations of life, to look for Him in all we do. He is everywhere! We just have to look for Him.
Now I'm going to go watch Intervention. : )
I climb the stairs and leave the world behind. When I reach the top, there are two chairs, very comfortable lounge chairs. I am standing on a glass box. Everyone, everything, the entire world is in the box below. I can see them but cannot hear them. There is such a peaceful silence; it is so inviting. I walk over to my chair, which is positioned so that it is facing the other chair. Jesus is sitting, waiting for me, and I give him a hug, as friends do when they greet each other. He smiles, a warm, knowing smile. I can see the world below me and I sigh as I settle into my chair. "Oh Jesus, I'm tired. I'm so tired." I tell him about my day and he listens, offering a nod of his head or soft chuckle. After I have dumped all of my complaints and stresses from the day on him, I am quiet. And then he speaks wisdom to my heart. He fills my soul with peace and encouragement and fills me with strength to enter the world again. Before I go, I look up and I am amazed, once again, as I see the expanse of the sky and I realize how small I really am and I thank God for loving me, in spite of me, and for never leaving my side.
Tonight I debated in my head for a few minutes. Watch "Intervention" or spend time with God? Intervention is such a great show, it was a tough decision! It's hard to put things aside to spend time with God. It's hard to sit and not get anything "accomplished". It's hard to stay awake when you've worked and struggled and worried all day. Until you actually do it. Once you make that decision to make God important, you realize that you accomplished exactly what you should have accomplished, taking time with God really is better than a few more minutes of sleep and don't even get me started on how much BETTER it is to give our worries to God!!
The God of our universe is moving. He is moving all around us and it's up to us to pull ourselves away from the demands and temptations of life, to look for Him in all we do. He is everywhere! We just have to look for Him.
Now I'm going to go watch Intervention. : )
The First is the Hardest
The first time you do anything is usually the hardest, and creating a place where my personal thoughts can be displayed and read by people outside of my head is no exception. However, when you feel God poking, it's best not to ignore Him. How many times do I have to learn that the hard way??
Honestly, I want to think of some butt-kickin', unique, standing ovation kind of way to start this little project, but I'm at work (I'm on my lunch break, honest) and thus, surrounded by yellow legal pads, piles of paperwork begging me to throw them far into the depths of my trashcan, and attorneys who all have "stop what you are doing" deadlines. It's hardly the ideal environment for inspiring creativity. Fortunately, amongst the daily demands, I hear a faint whisper, all day, beckoning me to look to Him, look past what I can see with my eyes, and see the One who makes everything have meaning.
That's it for now...I am excited to meet everyone in June. Thank you for the invitation, DeAnn.
Honestly, I want to think of some butt-kickin', unique, standing ovation kind of way to start this little project, but I'm at work (I'm on my lunch break, honest) and thus, surrounded by yellow legal pads, piles of paperwork begging me to throw them far into the depths of my trashcan, and attorneys who all have "stop what you are doing" deadlines. It's hardly the ideal environment for inspiring creativity. Fortunately, amongst the daily demands, I hear a faint whisper, all day, beckoning me to look to Him, look past what I can see with my eyes, and see the One who makes everything have meaning.
That's it for now...I am excited to meet everyone in June. Thank you for the invitation, DeAnn.
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